Redneck Riveria

Since I have to have surgery June 11 on my face and during the month or so recovery period I can't do much of anything we decided to take a little weekend jaunt to Florida. That's right, we're visiting the Redneck Riviera. Our trailer park away from our trailer park. Vic and I had never been, so we're taking the proverbial dip in the pond.

We started traveling around 2:50pm, headed in a southerly direction. It wasn't long before we ran into some serious Atlanta traffic, but we persevered. Things went pretty boring after that. You know, typical traveling on the highways. That is until we crossed the Alabama state line. Yeeee Hawww, I was in Hog Heaven.

The first thing I saw was 'Pawn Headquarters'. Yesireee,,,,,there we wuz sitting right in front of THE global headquarters for all things pawn. Whodathunkit.


The next gem of the south to catch my attention was Hog Rock BBQ. With a name like that, it has to be good.

Then as we were searching for our signs and directions, I saw a sign that said Eufaulen Dolfen, or something like that. I told Vic I'd luv to be a followin' Dolfen to PCB, but I don't know who he is or what he's driving.

We saw a big Chicken, musta been 8 ft tall beside the road. Gracie started clucking.

Had to stop and pee beside of the road after it got dark.

Eventually though, we arrived at our destination. As we pulled into the resort, we parked behind a familiar looking car. Vic said, that looks like our neighbors car. I blew it off as hogwash.
I proceeded to walk inside and ran smack dab into my neighbors girls. Surprise, hugs, smiles. Small world sometime.

Oh well, I'm disappointed I didn't get pics of the Hog Rock BBQ, but the tears of joy from my brush with the Pawn Headquarters hadn't subsided. Maybe on the way back.

That's all for now folks!!

My Kids, or Are They

This was a great Sunday. We got up, played, watched some Garth concert DVDs, folded laundry and had a blast. The afternoon started off with me taking the 3 girls to Brewsters for Ice Cream. We got our cones then sat on the grass and enjoyed the day.

After this we came home, the girls donned their bathing suits and we went to the backyard where I proceeded to be the sadistic father and hosed them down with the water hose. :)

I blew up the big, inflatable jumpy thing and they jumped in that,,,,,,while I was hosing them down of course.

Now the girls, tired from a big day of sun, fun, water and ice cream are watching Harry Potter, eating popcorn and drinking soda. They'll pass out shortly I'm sure.

Oh yea, there was one interesting thing about today. Oh,,,it's so minor I don't know why I bring it up. You see, I've been forced to ask Vic if there was something she should tell me. Some big secret about the paternity of my girls. Yes,,,,,,doubt has been entered into our marriage.

You see,,,,,,Gracie HATES to have her hair brushed or combed. It's like torture to her. And we all know torture can make even the hardest men talk. Well, between the hosing down in the back yard, dinner and the Harry Potter movie, the girls had to have a bath. And it was after the bath while I was drying Gracie's hair she screamed at me.

"Daddy, go dry your kids hair, let Mommy dry mine!!!!!"

Hmmmm???

Really????

Maybe there are some questions I need to ask Vic. :)

Gracie and the hot Bears

On the way to school this morning there was a hot air balloon visible in the sky. The girls loved it.

Gracie says: "How do the bears make it fly?"
Joe: "Bears?"
Gracie: "The bears in the balloon."
Joe: "What bears?"
Gracie: "The hot bears."
Joe: "What hot bears?"
Gracie: "You said it was a hot bear balloon."

Once More into the Breech

Me and the girls ran to Zaxby's to get dinner. Vic was upstairs asleep.
We got home, the sun was bright, but to the north the sky was dark.

We got inside, unpacked dinner and I got the girls dinner set out on the table. I sent Hay upstairs to wake her Mother real quick and as soon as Vic got down stairs the tornado sirens went off.

We looked outside and the sun was shining, but it was still dark to the north. So we packed up dinner and herded the now crying little girls down stairs to the basement.

I turned on the basement TV and watched Glenn Burns on WSB TV to see what was happening.

Nothing happened for a while, then we got tremendous wind and rain,,,,,more sirens,,,,,,more crying,,,,,,,,then the power went out. So I had to switch to WSB Radio. They said a tornado was suspected just 1/2 mile from our house on Rope Mill Rd. It got dark, windy, then the hail started. But thank God, that's all, at least for us.

After it passed I went outside and heard nothing but sirens for 15 minutes. All close and headed just north of our house. About an hour later a Georgia Power truck pulled in front of our house. I went out and spoke with the driver. He said there was a lot of damage just north of us, but he was being paged a lot (no surprise) and couldn't talk.

So at this point, all I can say is that we are safe. I can only pray the souls north of us are as well.

Good night all.

Lazy Sunday

Yesterday was a pretty good day. It was my parents 51st wedding anniversary. Pretty cool. Not many people in this day and age can say they've been together that long. I made up a Happy Anniversary song, taught it to the girls, we rehearsed then called up my folks and serenaded them. It was nice. Except Alyssa and Gracie wouldn't stop singing at the end of the song. Just kept going on and on and on. Giggling and laughing of course.

I took Hay to see the new Narnia movie yesterday afternoon. Here are my thoughts:
1. WAY too long. It was good, but not good enough to be over 2 1/2 hours.
2. WAY too violent for kids. This is not the first Narnia movie. The first scene is a women giving birth. Many men and animals killed by sword and arrows.
3. Ripped off other movies.
- The water scene is a rip from Lord of the Rings
- The mouse is a rip from Shrek's Puss n Boots
4. The acting was pretty bad, especially the kid playing Peter.
5. The special effects were phenomenal. Really very cool.
Oh well. It'll rake in $500M and I'm sure another 1 or 2 will be made.

All for now.

A Sad Day

They say of all the people you will never forget, at least one will be a teacher. Aside from our parents, teachers spend more time with us growing up than anyone else. They shape us, mold us and help us grow. In the process they become a fixture in our hearts and minds. Everyone has one. One teacher they can point to who influenced them. One teacher who always seemed to have the answer, be the leader or was someone you wanted to be. That teacher for me was Dr. Robert W. Hartwell.

I met Dr. Hartwell in 1979 when I was 15 years old. Back then I was an aspiring musician with an enormous amount of talent, skill and promise. Unfortunately, the mountains of Eastern Kentucky (where I grew up), wasn’t the best place to hone my skills. So I convinced my parents to send me to Stephen Collins Foster Music Camp at Eastern Kentucky University (EKU) for 2 weeks in the summer of 1979.

The camp was held on campus and we stayed in the college dorm rooms, 2 to a room. I was only staying for 2 weeks, but Mom provided me enough supplies and gear to outfit a squad of Marines for a month. I found out later I was actually traveling light. There were other guys who had brought their entire stereo systems, speakers, turntables, 8-track players, amplifiers, disco lights, flags, banners, plants, guitars, you name it. Yep, we were a bunch of 15-17 year old guys from all over the United States, thrust together for several weeks during the summer on a college campus with NO PARENTS! Does it get any better than that?!?

I won’t go into all the stories of sneaking out, sneaking in, fire alarms, whipped cream, girls dorms, girls, cars etc. That isn’t the purpose of this post,,,,,and I need to make sure the statute of limitations has expired on a few things as well.

No, the purpose of this post is the man who was charged with leading this band of teenage energy, hormones and attitude. That would be Dr. Robert Hartwell.

I met him the first day there. He was very imposing, not only in stature, but in voice. His voice was what the military calls a ‘command voice’. It wasn’t a yell, not a shriek, not a holler, not necessarily loud. It’s just there. You could hear it over the din of 100 teenagers. It was deep. It was friendly. It demanded respect. When I met General Norman Schwarzkopf years later, I got the same feeling.

I played the trombone in the concert band under his direction. I would later learn other instruments from strings to tuba, but the trombone was my home. I was very talented and I thought I was very good, but on my first day at camp though, I learned different. I was a very small fish in a very large pond.

The camp was a blast, with us guys getting into anything we could and of course, chasing all the girls. Dr Hartwell would come by the dorm many nights to check on us, talk with us and keep us out of trouble. He’d visit the floors and rooms like a commanding general visiting the troops and we all loved it. I was having so much fun that after 2 weeks I convinced my folks to let me stay another 2. Then the next 2 summers I went back yet again for 4 weeks each.

At the end of my senior year in high school I had opportunities to go to several universities on music scholarships. In the end, however, I took the one offered to me by Dr. Hartwell and started EKU in August 1981. We had talked, I knew him, what he wanted, what he expected, it just seemed natural.

My freshman year was pretty hectic with regular college classes and music courses. I was majoring in music education, but really wanted to be a professional musician. By the end of the first semester I ran into some trouble with my primary faculty instructor (who was new to the staff). He was a balding, despot, musician wannabe with a napoleon complex. I didn’t respond well to people ordering me around, calling me names or yelling at me, (this was my pre-military years). So, after a few run-ins with him I just walked to Dr. Hartwell’s office, asked to see him and we discussed the problem. (I left out the part about the instructor sleeping with another student, that’s a story for later.)

Now Dr. Hartwell had known me since I was 15. He’d known me when I was good and when I was bad (who goes to camp and doesn’t get into a little trouble?). I suppose he knew me well enough to trust me and look in to the problem. After that day I NEVER had any trouble with that faculty member. And my freshman year continued.

After being in the marching band, brass ensembles, orchestra, concert band and jazz band my freshman year I realized 3 things.
1. I wasn’t good enough to be a professional musician.
2. Music teachers didn’t make money
3. I was more interested in communications and electronics as a job/future.

I discussed changing majors with my parents, then I went to see Dr. Hartwell. I explained to him I was going to give up my scholarship and change my major. I expected disappointment or anger from the man who had molded me for over 4 years to be a musician. I got none of that. Instead, he treated me like a Father would a son. He questioned my decision making process. He questioned my desires and goals. He questioned my chosen path. Not once though did he act disappointed. In fact, he was happy with the process I’d gone through and with the decision I’d made for my life. It wasn’t until years later I realized he hadn’t been molding me to be a musician after all, he’d been molding me to be a man.

I finished college, joined the Navy and spent almost 10 years traveling the world. In 1996 I became a civilian working in California and then moved to Georgia in 1997 where I still am today. By 2001 I hadn’t thought of Dr. Hartwell or the music camp in almost 20 years. Then one night I came across the website for Stephens Collins Fosters Music Camp. And nestled in the web pages was Dr. Hartwell’s email address.

Holy cow! There’s a name I hadn’t thought of for a while. I emailed him. I didn’t think he’d remember me so I included a detailed description of me, when I was at camp and when I was at EKU. Turns out I didn’t need to include the description, he did remember me. We exchanged a few emails that year. I told him what I’d been doing and he told me about his daughter growing up. This astounded me since she was a very small child when I knew her. Then after a few emails we fell out of touch again. I had started a family of my own, a new job, a new house and was very, very busy. Life went on I suppose.

Last night I was cruising the net like I do most nights and found the Stephen Collins Foster Music Camp web site yet again. Only this time instead of an email address for Dr. Hartwell, I found a web page discussing the tribute concert being held for him on June 27th at EKU. Dr. Hartwell died Feb 15, 2008.

I became very numb after reading this. I suddenly felt disappointed with myself for not keeping up the correspondence. I felt shame. I felt sad. A man who had influenced my life in such a positive way was now gone.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a small bit of my relationship with this man. I’m sure others have similar stories. Dr. Robert W. Hartwell was a devoted Father, Husband, Grandfather and friend. He will be missed sorely.

Fare Winds and Following Seas Robert Hartwell.

Excellent Friday

I had the pleasure of having lunch with Joe Reger this afternoon. While we email back and forth almost daily I haven't seen him since the summer of 2004 and we live less than 20 miles apart. Such is the life we lead I suppose. What was really great is that with my work schedule and family commitments I rarely get away from my desk for lunch, so this was a real treat. Joe has a pic posted on his site of course, just follow the link above. I know I'm still huge, but hey, I've lost almost 40lbs this year, think about what I looked like in Jan.

I had some questions from Steph regarding my previoius post, so I'll provide a little update on my facelift. :)

The procedure will stretch some of my forehead down to my nose and connect it there. (Think Mr. Fantastic from Fantastic Four) The doc will use this flesh (sounds morbid doesn't it) to rebuild the nose. I have to wear some sort of mask to keep it in place, but by doing this it keeps direct blood flow going to site. After 3-4 weeks the connection is severed in another procedure. How he does this, details, I have no idea.

As for exercises, I know for 3-4 days I'm supposed to be very still. But afterward and I can do lite walking. No running, weights or activity which increases heart rate or blood pressure. So I guess I'll have to attend conference calls doing about 2.5 mph on a treadmill. 8 hours of that a day should burn some calories at least. :)

In light of my situation, I'd like to encourage everyone out there to see a dermatologist and get checked out. Especially if you're outdoors a lot working, playing and exercising.

In other news, Hailey lost another tooth last night. Actually, it was so loose I is just tied some pink thread on it and yanked it out of her mouth. She was so happy. Of course the Tooth Fairy visited last night and left her $2. I only remember getting a dime for mine.



On the Vic front, she's feeling a bit better today. Very tired. I sent her to the massage therapist, so she's ready to pass out now. I'm hoping this will help her have a good weekend.

And of course, I have to throw some pics of my other two in lest my Mother-in-Law smack me in the back of the head.






That's all for now.

A Face Lift for Joe

Back when we were young, going to the pool or beach, wandering around shirtless was never an issue. We all seemed to worship the sun, or for us guys the girls in bikinis. Well, I was one of those guys which is really bad cause I’m the fair haired, blue eyed poster child for sun block. As a result over the past 15 years I’ve had multiple skin cancers removed from my face, neck, arms and back, including the removal of the top of my right ear. (it was reconstructed with skin from behind my ear and now you can’t even tell.)

I have so many I have check-ups with the Dermatologist every 6 months. Well this last trip turned up a doozy. A big one on the end of my nose. A biopsy was done and it was positive for Basal Cell Carcinoma. If you’re gonna get cancer that’s probably the one to get. It doesn’t metastasize, grows slowly and isn’t life threatening, but it still must be removed.

This is actually the second spot I’ve gotten on my nose. The first was in 1993 on the bridge of my nose. I was still in the Navy using military hospitals and such. The removal was performed by doctors in training resulting in quite a scar on my nose. It’s like they just cut a chunk out and left it. Oh well, I got used to it, what was I gonna do..

So I met with my surgeon today to discuss how much of my nose must be removed and the reconstruction options. He’s an Emory Grad with years of experience performing these procedures. He did over 1,400 facial reconstructions last year and was beaming self-confidence. I really, really liked him.

Here’s how the surgery works. I go in, get some Valium, get happy, then have a bunch of needles stuck into my nose to numb it. (I can tell you now from prior experience that is very painful.) After it is numbed, he whacks off a slice and it is immediately taken to a lab next door to see if all the cancer is removed. If it is, we’re done. If not, he repeats the process. So the bottom line is we won’t know how much of my nose will have to be removed until the surgery itself.

He did give me 2 scenarios though, and since I have such a small nose to begin with there really are only 2 for me:

Best Case: He would just have to remove a small amount of flesh to get all the cancer. This would allow him to reconstruct the site with tissue from around the nose. (I never have best case, and I could tell by his demeanor today he didn’t think I’d have best case either.)

Worst Case: The site would be too large to reconstruct with local tissue. In this instance he would perform something called a Forehead Plecosometing or other. Basically taking tissue from my forehead and connecting to the end of my nose for reconstruction. Don’t ask me for details, cause I don’t completely understand. He’s done many of these and was confident my reconstruction would be a success. This procedure takes longer to perform, requires a follow-up procedure, will leave me with black eyes, a huge bandage on my face for weeks and I can’t work out for about a month. Real bummer there.

In addition to this, he also told me either way he’d fix the damage done by the Navy doctors 15 years ago. I told you I really liked this guy.

So, there it is. In about three weeks I get to have this lovely experience and look like Frankenstein for a while. But it’s for the best. I’ll make sure to post pictures so everyone can enjoy the TRANSFORMATION!!

Now, even with this setback, I have no intention of giving up on Curahee in October. I may not be able to do the hill as fast as I’d like, but I’m going to do it. And anyone out there is welcome to join me. Well,,,,,maybe not Michael Jackson or Marilyn Manson,,,,that’d be kinda creepy.

All for now. G’nite.

Tuesdays Extract

Several items in today's post:
1. As Gracie was walking through the house she started hacking. You know the sound someone makes when they're trying to cough up a loogie. Vic asked her if she had something in her throat. Gracie responds: "I think it was my lunch!" And ran off to cause damage elsewhere.

2. Great day for a work out. Did 3 1/4 miles today and for the first time did the first 3 miles in under 50 minutes. If the lawn work Saturday hadn't turned my lungs into sandpaper I coulda done better.

3. In a previous post I mentioned two 'alleged' love birds, who in their haste to get home ran the train tracks at the wrong time and got slam bam thank you maamed. Well, the female 'victim' is suing not only the railroad company, but the driver as well. You know,,,,,her real, close, married friend. Gotta love it.

4. On the Vic front, we upped the meds yesterday and they've hit her pretty hard. To be blunt they make her sick as a dog. Just another 2 weeks and we should know if this is going to work or not.

That's all for now. Have a good night.

Happy Moms Day

To my wife, Vic.

- Thanks for putting up with me while I was growing up.
- Thanks for having my children
- Thanks for putting up with me while I still grow up (it'll happen, just be patient)
- Thanks for looking so darn good, all the time
- Thanks for laughing at my horrible jokes
- Thanks for indulging my need for new guy toys, mostly computer and stereo related
- Thanks for letting me watch Star Wars any day of the week
- Thanks for understanding my infatuation with Ashley Judge and Rachael Hunter
- Thanks for not shooting me over that last comment
- Thanks for letting me play Xbox 360 any time I wish
- Thanks for understanding me better than anyone else
- Thanks for doing the dishes this morning
- Thanks for taking care of me when I'm sick
- Thanks for taking care of me when I'm sad
- Thanks for listening to my doubts and fears
- Thanks for always being my biggest fan and supporter
- Thanks for being my best friend
- Thanks for being the hottest chick I know
- Thanks for being my everything

I love you Vic.
Happy Mothers Day

Joe

Note: There is an 'inside joke' at my house regarding Ashley Judge (Judd). I'm always kidding my girls about her or Rachael Hunter being my girlfriend. When I do this, they usually chase me down, tackle me, hit me, pound me etc. It's a big game. Why Judge? Gracie can't say Judd. She calls her Ashley Judge. So now you know. :)

On this Day in History

May 9th is an important date in the history of man-kind. Over and over again important world events occur on this day. For example:

1502 Columbus left Spain on his 4th & final trip to New World
1785 Joseph Bramah receives British patent for beer pump handles
1896 1st horseless carriage show in London (featured 10 models)
1899 Lawn mower patented
1914 President Wilson proclaims Mother's Day
1945 New balata ball used in baseball, 50% livilier
1962 Beatles sign their 1st contract with EMI Parlophone
1962 Laser beam successfully bounced off Moon for 1st time
1971 Elizabeth Bonner runs female world record marathon (3:01:42)
1974 House Judiciary Committee begin formal hearings on Nixon impeachment
1979 US & USSR sign Salt 2 treaty, limiting nuclear weapons
1981 Joe and Vic have first date

That’s right. 27 years ago today Vic went out with me and we fell in love. The worst mistake of her life. It was to my Senior Prom and as you can see in the pic below she was absolutely radiant. Is it me or do we look very young here? Must be me.

In other events tonight was Hailey’s art show at her elementary school. The kids paint something, it’s framed, they turn the gym into an art gallery complete with classical music and sell the art to benefit the school. Pretty cool.




In honor of Mothers Day and our Date Anniversary I got Vic some flowers and a cake. Of course the girls had to have cake tonight. It was during the cake cutting Gracie had to sing Vic a Mothers Day song. It went like this, and the tune was kinda like Pooh would sing, no real melody.

“Happy Mothers Day Mommy”
“We Love yoooouuuu!!!”
“Then we spank yoooooouuuu!!!”

Yep, that’s the kinda song I would expect from Gracie.
G’nite all.

Joe Should Be Shot

I believe that’s what most people are going to say after reading this and seeing the pic, and I’m ok with that. I did what I did for a reason.

It's the 2nd day of Vic on her new meds and she's having to get used to them. They have some lovely side effects such as drowsiness, lack of energy, dizziness, but the worst deal with her stomach. Nausea to be exact. She started getting sick this evening and nothing seemed to help. She just couldn’t get away from Mr. Toilet and the cold compresses. I told her she should be glad I’m not Joe Reger, cause he’d documenting the whole event in pictures. At that point there were some choice words thrown my way (which I will not repeat here) and she said something to the effect of: “I don’t care, go ahead.” So I did. Can't you see the look of love in her eye?

I know, here’s the part where everyone is going to start hating me, but before you do, please read more. During the photo’s she started making faces at me and threatening me and so on. It actually took her mind off it and her nausea went away. And it’s stayed away all evening. On second thought, I think it wasn't that it took her mind off the nausea, she just enjoyed abusing me. :) So, say bad things about me if you want, it helped Vic and that’s all that matters to me.

I’ll be at the office tomorrow, I sure hope one of the girls can take pics if Vic gets sick again.

Good work out tonight. Stair stepper, bike and weights. Did shoulders tonight, I’ll be lucky to move tomorrow. Oh well, time for the motrin.

G’night all!!

Nunquam Deditio

Loosely translated Nunquam Deditio is Latin for ‘Never Surrender’. (If anyone knows better, let me know.) The concept means for an individual to believe the only thing worse than losing or defeat is to quit trying. To never let fear, loss or frustration gain the upper hand in the struggle, even if defeat is inevitable.

It is a concept well known by US Marines, Navy Seals and other members of our armed forces. It is a concept I want to instill in my little girls as the way to approach every thing they endeavor.

Life is full of obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are self-made, others are just life itself and sometimes they seem to manifest themselves as though an unseen entity was purposefully placing them in our path.

Regardless of the source we must be strong enough to work through the obstacles. We must find the strength and resolve to deal with the mental frustration, exhaustion and sometimes hopelessness to push onward even if we know we may lose in the end.

Where do we get this strength? Where do we find this resolve? How do we reach deep within ourselves for the courage and power to push onward in the face of defeat? Is it a trait passed on to us as children like I’m trying to do with my girls? Is it the result of our social circles and support groups? Is it our faith and relationship with God? I believe it’s all of the above.

Why then? Why do I want to keep fighting even if I know I may lose? Or worse yet, what if I know I’m going to lose regardless? Why not just accept the inevitable? Each person must answer this question for themselves, but I have my own thoughts on this.

- What if George Washington had quit when all looked hopeless?
- What if Lincoln had quit after the first year of the Civil War?
- What if the 101st Airborne had given up at Bastogne?
- What if Rosa Parks had just sat down in back?
- What about the determination and grit of Michael – Marathon runner, husband and father.
- What about Gary Gordon and Randy Shughart? – Delta Force, Medal of Honor winners
- What about the NYC Firemen, Policemen and Port Authority workers on Sept 11, 2001?

Just imagine if any of those people had quit, resigned to defeat and laid down. How different would our world be today, or the world of thier families? I can only imagine the kind of person I would be if I had just one ounce of their resolve and strength.

Nunquam Deditio. Never Surrender.

The Fifth of May

We had an appointment with Vic’s new doctor today, supposed to be one of the best headache specialists in the South East. Waited 2 ½ months for this appointment, so he’d better be good.

Started off the day in a bad way of course. Hailey’s got an eye infection again and couldn’t go to school so we had to drag her with us. We dropped the little ones off at day care and headed for Monday morning drive time traffic trying to get down town. 1 ½ hours later, we arrived.

Hailey and I stayed in the waiting room while Vic went back to see the doc, carrying 3 years worth of Xrays, MRIs, medication lists and therapy’s tried and failed. The doc did a review of the records provided, an interview and a physical evaluation. In the end, he came up with this diagnosis:

- New Daily Persistent Headache – a disabling, primary headache disorder
- Hemicrania Continua – a treatable primary headache disorder

She has some new meds to start taking tomorrow to attack these conditions, but we won’t know for several weeks if they’re effective. One is supposed to do a number on her stomach, so she’s supposed to start taking Pepcid AC tomorrow too.

So, another group of meds and play the waiting game again.

In the interim, here is a pic of our birds nest on the front porch. You can see the heads of 3 little buggers. Not too clearly though.


Since it’s Cinco De Mayo we went to our local Mexican restaurant, the one we’ve been going to for over 7 years. An annual tradition if you will. I was very good, eating only had taco salad.

Work out tonight was also very good. Ran 14 minutes of a 43 min treadmill routine. I have to say the legs and feet are doing great. Total limiting factor right now is the lungs. I just have to keep at it, one day at a time.

G’nite all. More tomorrow.

Another Idiot

Today another famous celebrity opened their pie hole and showed us what they really think of our US Military. This time it was fiction writer Stephen King.

King said: "If you can't read, then you've got the Army and Iraq". Yep, that's right Mr. King, everyone in the Army is an illiterate moron, unable to get a job in the real world. To me this is just another rich elitist enjoying the freedom of this country with no respect or admiration for the young men and women making sure we keep that freedom.

I suppose this picture needs to be changed from Kerry to King.

I'm certainly glad there are brave men and women with the dedication, devotion and love of this country and her people who take it upon themselves to join the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. They are truly special people deserving of our support and admiration not insults.

Hide and Seek

I love hide and seek. It was one of my favorite games growing up, especially as I got older and figured out ways to hide in plane sight using camouflage or other cover to fool people. I could make myself disappear right in front of everyone. It’s a gift I’m using now to torture my children.

“Count to 25 girls, if you find me, you get a new toy.” And off I go.

A few of the places I’ve hidden recently include:
- In the living room behind a shear curtain. Plainly obvious, but they didn’t see me until Vic pointed me out.
- On the couch behind a pillow. Pure genius. They walked around me dozens of times.
- On top of the washer covered in clothes. Again, genius. Never saw me.
- In the play room (otherwise known as the Christmas Tree room) with their toys stacked in front of me. Used this several times before they caught on.
- Behind an open door in several rooms. Good once or twice, but not any more.
- In the crawl spaces over the garage. Old faithful. So far, they’ve never found me there.

This weekend I tried adding a new spot to my dossier, but I ran into a little trouble in the planning area. First, a review of the keys to a good hiding spot, especially when working with children trained in my devilish ways:
1) Hide in sight. Let them think they’re seeing nothing.
2) Blend. Make yourself part of the clutter, the background, so that when they look straight at you, they still don’t see you.
3) Accessibility. It must be a place you can get in and out of without being seen or heard. This conceals your location and hopefully allow you to reuse the spot.

It is in the third area I failed last night. My choice again was the laundry room. Only this time I wasn’t behind the door or on top of the washer under some clothes. I sat down in a laundry basket in the floor, covered myself with clothes and pulled the ironing board over me. I must say, I was quite invisible from the door and very proud of myself for another hiding job well done. That is until it came time to stand up.

You see, my lard a$$ fat butt was stuck in the basket. And on top of that, my legs were at such an angle I couldn’t put them on the floor. So were my hands. I was like a upended turtle along the side of the road with his feet running in air. Pretty pathetic really. The king of hide and seek begging for help from his little girls to get out of a laundry basket. Yep, of all the things they’ll forget about their childhood, I’m sure this won’t be one of them.

TTFN

The Jerk

I guess I can be a jerk at times, as all men can. Sometimes unintentional, sometimes totally on purpose. Today, it was on purpose. (You can't see it, but I'm smiling.)

We found out today a woman we grew up with was having an affair. OH THE HUMANITY!!! (It gets better,,,,,,,,,and worse.)

You may ask, how did we find out this beautiful girl/woman/married/mother we knew was having an affair? Well, it was in our local hometown newspaper of course.

You see, her and her boyfriend (who was also married) had been on a little afternoon rendezvous and were running a bit late. In their effort to get back on time they ran the train tracks when a train was coming and BLAMMMMM!!!!! They got creamed, poor little sweet hearts, really got some today. ( did I say that out loud?)

They lived and were airlifted to the best medical center in the area, but I don’t think they’ll like the divorce lawyers waiting for them when they wake up.

Anyway, back to the jerk piece. I told Vic that she had nothing whatsoever to worry about with me for I would never let that happen. I love her and the kids way too much to ever try and run the train tracks when a train was coming. :)

Good thing I cleaned the basement up, I may be sleeping there for a while.

G'night all!!


On other matters:Worked out hard for the last 31 straight days. Yesterday was especially rough on the bike and todays workout even harder. Felt like I was out of energy. As a result Vic made me eat a steak and baked potato. I haven’t had that many carbs in weeks. I guess tomorrow I’ll really have to make up for today’s feast.