Loser

In joking with Gracie this afternoon, I teased her and said: "Loser."

She looked at me and said: "YOU,,,,,are calling ME a loser?!?"


She's pretty smart.

Earth Day

Today I'm helping celebrate Earth Day. Let's cut to the chase here, bottom line - the purpose of this day is to save the planet from ourselves. Fat chance. 99.9999999% of the people on this planet are so uneducated and ignorant they will continue to do what they've always done regardless of our little Earth Day. And if they aren't ignorant, they just don't care.

But to be positive, to move forward, to help make this planet a better place for my offspring I'm going to suggest the following 10 things you can do to help save this planet. So here ya go.

1. Eat beef today. Reducing the number of cows farting will reduce carbon emissions.
2. Buy some leather goods. See benefit from #1.
3. Don't flush your toilets all day. Water conservation.
4. Don't put anything in your trash cans today, wait til tomorrow.
5. Hold your breath several times throughout the day for as long as you can. Save our precious oxygen.
6. Don't buy any gas for your car today. Fumes you know. Wait til tomorrow.
7. Shower with your spouse today. Lots of positives for this idea me thinks.
8. Wait til tomorrow to brush your teeth. Saves water you know.
9. Take some Beano. Again, reduce carbon emissions.
10. Don't workout today. The heat you generate will only contribute to global warming.

There ya go. 10 things you can do on Earth Day to make you feel better, save the planet and tick off your local PETA representative. :)


On a lighter note, from the homefront:
Allysaism:
Alyssa ran thru the house yelling "I GOTTA GO POTTIE!!!"

She got to the bathroom and yelled "Someone didn't flush the toilet."

Being a smart a$$ I said: "How can you tell?"

Alyssa replied: "Cause there's poop crumbs in there!!"

Gotta love her.

New Application

Added a new section to my blog. Where's Joe???

Now Vic need never wonder where I am.

Or Rachael Hunter, Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek or any of my girlfriends. ;)



Yep, I'm gonna get hit for that.

Stormy Weather

Tornado sirens wailed again in Atlanta. Kids were roused out of bed and rushed to the basement as a 'possible' tornado swept by us. It was about 1-2 miles away.

Reports of damage started coming in a few minutes ago. A small newborn was injured when a tree fell on a family's house not far from here. Like us, they had little warning. The sirens by our house didn't go off until the thing was almost on top of us.

Fortunately for us I was watching the radar on my iPhone and had gone outside just before it hit. I could hear the sirens from Cobb county to our south. Vic and I went ahead and got the girls jackets and shoes by the basement door just to be ready. Good move on our part.

So now I'm standing guard by the TV and Vic's sleeping with the little ones. Hopefully, this will only last a little while longer.

Another Day

I hate being sick. Especially if it involves pain or discomfort. For the last week, that's been the case. It sucks. Really sucks. It's impacted my workouts somewhat. I can still walk and ride. But no running and no intensity. Standing for a while or sitting in a chair for a while hurts a bit. Driving is miserable.

If you're wondering what's wrong I'll just say this. I have an internal infection, which has caused swelling and pain in a very private area. And for you bozo's out there NO it's not an STD. Geez. :)

So, I'll just continue to work on my basement office. Getting it outfitted so I can work more efficiently, often and effectively on Pingfit.

Later --

Good Carbs / Bad Carbs

The other day a friend of mine said she was trying teach her husband the difference between good carbs and bad carbs. Apparently he wasn't getting it, so I tried to help.

Good Carbs:
Pizza
Lasagna
Egg Rolls
Spaghetti
Dinner Rolls
Three Cheese Texas Toast
French Fries
Home Fries
Bake Potato's (with butter, sour cream, bacon bits and chives)
French Toast (with lots of syrup)
Cookies
Cakes
Honey Buns
Doughnuts

Bad Carbs:
Vegetables
Fruits
Wheat Bread
Beans


Yea I know. I'm tireless in my efforts to help friends.

On the home front. Gracie got put in timeout today for screaming in school. Big surprise there.

She also had the following conversation with Vic yesterday:

Grace: (From the other end of the house) "MOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!"

Vic: "What Grace?"

Grace: "COOOMMMMEEEEE HEEERRRREEEE!!!!"

This repeats several times til Vic gets up to stop the noise pollution.

Vic: "Grace, what do you want."

Grace: (laying in the floor looking up at Vic) "I need a kid to play with."

Vic: "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Grace: "Duh,,,,call some kid and tell them to come play with me."


Alyssa on the other had exhibited all the good traits we've been trying to instill in our girls since day one. At school yesterday they handed out prizes to the kids who sold the most 'cookie dough'. Alyssa and Hailey had pooled their resources, shared sales and entered all under Alyssa's name, so she got 4 different prizes.

Well, every kid in class got a prize except one. He got nothing. Alyssa went to him and gave him her biggest prize cause she didn't want him to be sad and feel left out. No that's my girl!!!


Later.

Vacation

We'd love to go on vacation this year. Panama City Beach again, Myrtle Beach, Pigeon Forge,,,any of them. But because of money and work,,,doesn't look like we'll be able to go anywhere.

My family is held hostage by certain aspects of my place of employment. Oh well, it's a job in these uncertain times, so I'll be happy with that.

Alyssa does want to go camping, so I told her we'd get a tent and brave the backyard one night. Gracie said she want to as well. I just don't see it happening.

More Gracisms

Everyone has seen a baseball players 'scratch'. You know,,,, the digging, rutting moves in broad daylight, shifting around and scratching in the most inappropriate places to be doing so outside.

Well,,,,, Gracie was doing a very good impression of this yesterday, which prompted the following conversation:

Vic: "Grace, what are you doing?"

Grace: "I got an itch and I got to itched it."

Vic: "Well you doing dig at yourself like that in front of everyone, it's not nice."

Grace: "Why not? My music teacher itches her itch like that in class. So if I get an itch, I'm gonna itched it."


Gracie also had a run in with our neighbors dogs the last few days. 1 snapped at her cause she was pounding it in the head and calling that 'petting'. The other was because she saw something unusual on our other neighbors Greyhound. Something that looked like an 'extra leg'.

Took us a few minutes to distract her away from that. Geez!!

Socialism

Another great story I just have to post. True? Who knows, but it certainly matches what I think would happen:

An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had failed very few student but had, once, failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "Ok, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades will be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade meaning, obviously, no one will receive an A."

They all agreed to this and after the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a C.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

When the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too, so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great dismay the professor failed them all. Then he sent all of them this note:

"A socialistic government will also ultimately fail - because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed."

Yep, sounds about like what I'd expect.

20 Years

Some jokes are just too good not to post.

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.

"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.

"Yes I do." she replied.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes I remember."

"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"

"Yes I do", she replied.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."