So, this afternoon, Hay and I jumped in the little rig and headed south to Marietta. Although I’d never been there before I had mapped it out on the internet and had the directions in hand, so there’d be no problems finding the store whatsoever.
- I75 South to Exit 265
- Left onto N. Marietta Parkway
- Left onto Roswell Road (RR)
- Right on to Johnson Ferry Road (JFR)
- BPRC is at 1062 Johnson Ferry Road (JFR)
Now those are pretty darn simple directions wouldn't you say?
We had no problem getting to I75s, and as further evidence of my truly awe inspiring navigational prowess I got off on exit 265 and turned left onto Marietta Parkway. It’s a nice little 4 lane highway and there is little traffic. I’m staying in the left lane because I have to make a left turn up ahead.
First mistake: Up ahead there is an exit coming up fast. “An exit!?!” I wasn’t expecting this, I was expecting an intersection, which is why I was in the left lane. There may only be a few cars on the road but they’re all right behind me and beside me in the right lane. Too late, we passed the exit. No worries I tell Hay. We’ll circle back around.
A few miles later we come upon an intersection for Lower Roswell Road (LRR). Hmmmm,,,,Lower Roswell road. It must connect with Roswell Road (RR) somewhere since it has basically the same name, and since it’s going in the same direction as RR it must cross JFR as well. So Hay and I turn left on to LRR. (Man logic is a terrifying thing sometimes)
LRR is a little 2 lane road with lots of curves and hills. A lot of subdivisions are on this road. A few stop lights here and there. Oh look. More subdivisions. Another stop light. Another curve. Another hill. Hay, look at the size of that house. Another curve. Another hill. This went on for what seemed like forever.
Second Mistake: After about 15 min of driving, from the backseat I hear Hay say, “Daddy, we should go back and find that road you missed.” This was a direct challenge to my Man Logic and exceptional sense of direction. No worries I tell her. I’m convinced I will find my way there, so we press onward. Kind of reminded me of that scene from European Vacation where they keep driving around in circles and Clark says a hundred times: “Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament.”
Third mistake: After what seemed like an eternity, I knew we were lost and called Vic to pull up the map and direct me to my destination. She happily agrees to help a Man who’s lost and can’t find his way. It was right then we came upon JFR. Although my instincts were spot on, my sense of direction infallible and my navigational expertise proven, I had reached out for help. What’s worse, I’d reached out to a woman. A direct contradiction to Man Rules.
Fourth Mistake: I gladly thanked Vic and tried to salvage the embarrassment by gloating over my sense of direction finally getting me to the right road. And while gloating I turned Right onto JFR. But alas, I was much farther south than I would have been if I’d taken RR, so I was going in the wrong direction. I realized this after about 10 minutes and made a U-turn.
Fifth Mistake: Traveling north on JFR I was looking for street address 1062. I see 1000 and tell Hay we’re close. Then I see 1100. “@#%” We passed it, how did we pass it? “@#%” We pull into the shopping center with the 1000 address. It has a Publix, some Biscuit restaurant and a bunch of other things. Maybe it’s in here. So I drive around.
Sixth Mistake: I drive thru the lot heading south and I get to this gray looking building which is having some construction done on it. Instead of driving further to see the front of it, I turn around and head back toward Publix. Hey, there may be nails or something in the parking lot from the construction. I’m not driving in there with new tires.
Seventh Mistake: I call Vic again to get the number for BPRC. I’ve obviously lost all shame. I tell her I saw 1000 and I’m in 1100 but no 1062. Vic is very courteous and helpful, but behind that sweet voice I know she’s laughing her butt off. She gives me the number and I call BPRC. A nice girl named Carolyn answers and tells me I’m just down the street from BPRC. Gives me a landmark, and off I go.
Eighth Mistake: I bop on to JFR again, this time headed south. “@$#%@ THERE IT IS!!” I missed it already. We were that close. So Hay and I have to turn around yet again.
We finally do a U-turn and pull into the BPRC parking lot. That’s when I realize the building and parking lot is the same one I almost drove into before. (See Sixth Mistake). We had gotten within 20 yds of BPRC almost 20 minutes ago. Oh well.
Went inside and met Carolyn who proceeded to provide me a high-tech fitting of my foot. My feet were scanned and my step was monitored on a treadmill. Turns out I have an Over-pronation to my step. No worries, she’s going to hook me up with some shoes to correct the problem.
I try on about 12 pair, but finally get a pair of Mizuno’s that fit and feel the best. I’ll be trying them out tonight and will let you know how they do.
Thanks Carolyn for the excellent job.
Thanks to Joe for the advice.
And thanks to Vic for the directions, the phone number and not making fun of me. (at least not out loud)
Oh, and the drive home was much easier. No wrong turns or embarrassments
Til next time.
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