Random Thoughts

#1. What it was, was football.
Not sure how many of you have heard the classic Andy Griffith routine, "What it was, was football". It’s a classic tale of an ‘uninformed’ man staring straight at something and concluding it’s something completely different than that which it really is.

A similar situation unfolded for me when I took Hailey to ballet class the other night. Vic was down again, so I had the 2 little ones with me as well. For the 1 ½ hour class I decided to take them to McDonald's and slide in the slides and get a nutritious dinner.

There were a lot of kids around, I’d guess ages 2-6. They all screamed, ate, slid, screamed, Gracie picked up a little boy and body slammed him, they screamed some more,,,,,all was good. Then it came time to leave.

Gracie of course, did not want to leave. So I had to haul my fat butt about 6 feet up the tube slide to drag her out. I got her and Alyssa to the table and began to put Gracie’s shoes on when I noticed her socks and legs were soaking wet. “Gracie, where’d you get in water, is it leaking up there?” (It was pouring rain outside.) She looked at me and gave me the Coast Guard salute. (for non-Navy types this is a shoulder shrug). Then Alyssa chimed in, “That’s not water, that’s pee.!”

You’ve all had those moments of realization haven’t you? I’d liken it to how you feel seeing a police cars blue lights in your rear view mirror. Time stands still. You’re floating, flying, trying to comprehend and then slowly start slipping back into the reality of the situation.

Joe: “IT’S WHAT?!?”
Alyssa: “Its pee.”
Joe: “WHERE’D IT COME FROM?”
Alyssa: “The slides.”
Joe: “I KNOW THAT, IS IT GRACIE'S?”
Alyssa: “No.”
Joe: “@#$%! WHO’S IS IT?”
Alyssa: “Some little boy.”
Joe: “HE PEED UP THERE?”
Alyssa: “Yea, he couldn't’t make it.
Joe: “SO HE JUST PEED UP THERE?”
Alyssa: “Yep. Gracie splashed her feet in it like a rain puddle.”
Joe: “##$%%. DO YOU HAVE ANY ON YOU?”
Alyssa: “No. I don’t play in pee, only Gracie does.”

So, what it was, was pee.

#2: Headphones.
Working from home is sometimes difficult with 3 little girls. It’s not that they bother me with constant needs, questions, problems, fighting, screaming, punching, playing, yelling, fighting, screaming etc, etc. They’re just basically loud.

So to escape I sought my iPod and the wonderful music therein. Found the iPod, but couldn't find my headphones. Looked in cabinets, breadbox, backpack, drawers, desk, counters, entertainment center, backpack again,,,,,no headphones. Then in a fit of stupidity I shouted to the house “$20 bucks to whoever knows where my headphones are!” I just knew they were somewhere in my stuff. Bad mistake.

Alyssa strolls up to me and proudly proclaims she knows where they are. “They’re in the back seat of the car.” In an arrogant, know it all mind set, confident they were not out in the car,,,,,,I went and looked.

There they were,,,,,,in the back seat,,,,,,,right where she said they were.

A defeated Joe, carrying his headphones walked back into the house to the joyous screams of my 5 yr old. ‘WHERE’S MY $20 BUCKS!?!” Over and over again.

I’m a man of my word. So I gave Alyssa an option.

Joe: “Honey, do you want to take this $20 dollars and open a savings account like your sister and save for your future or go out and blow it on a cheap toy?”
(Ever since Hailey opened her savings account last year Alyssa’s wanted one so I was sure she’d take the smart option. Obviously this wasn’t my day.)

Alyssa: “The future is now. I want to go spend it on a toy.”

I know she got that from her Mother.

#3: Movie Night:
One of my favorite things to do with the girls is have movie night. We pick a DVD and watch it on the big, wide screen TV, enjoying popcorn and soda, sometimes pizza. It’s usually Friday or Saturday night.

I asked the girls to get a bunch of DVDs together and let’s choose which one to watch. They all attacked the CD/DVD holders, each picking out what they wanted to watch tonight and brought them to me so we could review and choose.

Out of the stack of 30-40 DVDs they brought me, Gracie’s stack contained one I’ll never forget. One of the DVDs she brought me was a lens cleaner. Gotta love her!!


#4: Stamps
Little kids diggem. Givem some stamps and paper. They’re quiet and occupied for at least 10 minutes.


And sometimes stamps can tucker out the wildest of 5 yr olds.

All for now. Will post more this weekend.