Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day

Today I'm helping celebrate Earth Day. Let's cut to the chase here, bottom line - the purpose of this day is to save the planet from ourselves. Fat chance. 99.9999999% of the people on this planet are so uneducated and ignorant they will continue to do what they've always done regardless of our little Earth Day. And if they aren't ignorant, they just don't care.

But to be positive, to move forward, to help make this planet a better place for my offspring I'm going to suggest the following 10 things you can do to help save this planet. So here ya go.

1. Eat beef today. Reducing the number of cows farting will reduce carbon emissions.
2. Buy some leather goods. See benefit from #1.
3. Don't flush your toilets all day. Water conservation.
4. Don't put anything in your trash cans today, wait til tomorrow.
5. Hold your breath several times throughout the day for as long as you can. Save our precious oxygen.
6. Don't buy any gas for your car today. Fumes you know. Wait til tomorrow.
7. Shower with your spouse today. Lots of positives for this idea me thinks.
8. Wait til tomorrow to brush your teeth. Saves water you know.
9. Take some Beano. Again, reduce carbon emissions.
10. Don't workout today. The heat you generate will only contribute to global warming.

There ya go. 10 things you can do on Earth Day to make you feel better, save the planet and tick off your local PETA representative. :)

On a lighter note, from the homefront:
Alyssa ran thru the house yelling "I GOTTA GO POTTIE!!!"

She got to the bathroom and yelled "Someone didn't flush the toilet."

Being a smart a$$ I said: "How can you tell?"

Alyssa replied: "Cause there's poop crumbs in there!!"

Gotta love her.

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